Go Home Ladybug, You're Drunk
by The One-Shot Sphere
Summary: Marinette is in her first year of university, and on a wild night out to celebrate the end of the school year. After an unfortunate misunderstanding, she ends up chugging a Long Island Iced Tea. An akuma attack then forces her to don her superpowers, as Paris is treated to the tipsiest Ladybug it has ever seen.


**Fair warning: Alcohol is involved. Drink responsibly, kids!**

* * *

It was going to be a fun night.

Marinette smiled excitedly as she approached the underground bar. She had just finished her final examinations of the year, and was ready to celebrate with a high school reunion. Tonight, all the long nights of studying and stressing out would become worth it; now she was free to relax, see her old friends again, and just have a good time.

As usual, Marinette was the last one to the gathering. As she walked down the stairs to the bar and poked her head around the corner, the entire room looked up and erupted.

"Yes! There she is!" roared Kim.

"Hey Marinette! Long time no see!" yelled Max from across the room.

"Ohhh, Mari! It's so good to see you!" chimed Rose from the back.

"Wassup girl!" whooped Alya, getting up to give her a hug.

"Hi everyone! Sorry I'm late." she said, waving to her old classmates.

"It's alright, we didn't expect anything less!" said Alya with a cheeky wink. "Nice haircut by the way, changing up your style huh?"

"Eyeah, I thought the pigtails looked a little childish." chuckled Marinette. She had now taken to rocking a pixie cut, with part of her fringe held back with a pink hairpin of her own design. She was in her summer evening outfit, a simple tied-off t-shirt and skirt, and personalised canvas shoes.

"By the way, is Adrien here?" she asked.

"Yep, right over there!" said Alya, nodding to the counter. Adrien was leaning on the counter, chatting with Nino. Marinette sighed happily. He still had those dreamy green eyes and messy blonde hair that drove her crazy in high school. His new look featured a black and green flannel, white t-shirt and jeans, with his signature orange shoes being swapped out for an odd purple version. Marinette loved it all the same.

"Well, wanna get a drink?" said Alya, gesturing towards the counter.

"Umm, sure. But I'm trying to stay off the booze. Don't wanna get too crazy tonight."

"Mrs. responsible as always" smiled Alya as they walked over to order. "Maybe it's for the best. Things are gonna get rowdy tonight."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah, Kim and Alix are probably going to have a drink-off at some point."

"Of course they are." she said, looking back at the newfound couple trading playful punches. Kim's figure had now reached superhuman size, and Alix was much taller and stronger, having started kickboxing in university.

"Who knows, you might have to pull me off Nino once I get going as well!" laughed Alya, giving Marinette a nudge. "You'll probably be the only one still sober."

Marinette gave her an awkward smile. Alya could of course not know that the real reason she wasn't planning on going crazy was that there was no telling when she would need to become Ladybug. The last thing she wanted to do was fight crime while under the influence.

Across the room, Adrien was thinking along the same lines as Marinette. He knew he couldn't perform his superhero duties while wasted, and had decided at the beginning of the night that he wouldn't drink, much to Nino's disappointment.

As Marinette and Alya walked over to their two friends, Nino and Adrien stood up to greet them. After a few exchanges of hugs and a supremely awkward staring contest between Marinette and Adrien, the four settled down at the counter.

"What can I get for you, madam?" asked the bartender.

"One Tequila Sunrise, please." said Alya.

"And you?" he said, turning to Nino.

"Rum and coke, please." he said, as the bartender nodded and began preparing their drinks.

Suddenly, a voice came from behind. "Oh my gosh! Alya! Nino! Is that you?"

The pair turned to see their cousins, waving from a table in the corner.

"Oh my goodness! I didn't know they were coming!" blurted Nino excitedly.

"I know right?" she said, turning to Marinette. "Do you mind if we go say hi?"

"Go right ahead!"

"Thanks girl!"

"I'm gonna go say hi too." said Adrien. "Are you alright here?"

"Yeah, no problem" she replied. "I'll hold down the fort here, make sure your seats are saved."

"Thanks, Marinette." said Adrien, smiling sweetly into her eyes. Marinette felt her heart skip a beat, just like the good old days. She was brought out of her trance when the bartender popped back up.

"Anything for you, madam?"

"Oh...um..." stuttered Marinette, half panicking. She hadn't decided yet. She quickly glanced up at the drinks list written on the chalkboard above, searching for one that didn't sound like booze.

"Um...the iced tea thing sounds nice." she said, choosing one whose name sounded interesting. _It's just iced tea_, she thought to herself. _That's a safe bet._

"Ah, our house specialty. Coming right up!" said the bartender, walking over to fetch a glass.

Marinette breathed a sigh of relief as she turned around to look at the party. Everyone looked like there were having so much fun. It was organised chaos of course, but it was beautiful to see everybody together again, just kicking back and chatting like their high school days. If only things could have stayed that simple.

"Your order, madam." said the bartender, sliding her drink to her.

"Thank you." she said, taking the tall, strange-looking glass. It looked very fancy, with a red and white straw running through the golden-brown drink filled with ice cubes, and garnished with slices of lemon and lime. Without thinking, Marinette took a big sip, and was instantly impressed; this was better than any iced tea she had ever had. Just as Alya and Nino returned to the counter, she proceeded to swing the rest of the drink in one go.

"WOAH, slow down! What are you doing?" said Alya, more than a little shocked as she watched her friend set her empty glass down with a content sigh.

"What? It was just so tasty and- aahhh!"

Marinette screwed up her face as a sudden daze came over her. She felt blood rushing to her head, along with a strange feeling in her stomach.

"What the heck was in that ice tea?!" she exclaimed. Alya was confused for a moment, but she quickly put two and two together.

"Oh. My. Goodness. Girl, you asked for 'iced tea' at a bar! You do realise he gave you Long Island Iced Tea, right?"

Marinette gulped as she realised what she had just done. She had just chugged a full strength L.I.I.T. on an empty stomach, which she knew at her weight was a very bad idea.

"Oh gosh, don't let her near Adrien." laughed Nino. "No telling what'll come out of her mouth now!"

Meanwhile, across the room, Adrien was already growing tired of watching his friends having a good time. He had been at the venue for quite a while now, and had been checking the news on his phone. At this point, he felt safe to assume nothing was going to happen, and if worst came to worst, Ladybug could still capture the akuma even if Chat Noir had a few drinks in him. _Just one drink for now,_ _that's all_, he told himself. _What could go wrong?_

However, just as he was about to return to the counter, his phone blurted out an alert. He quickly opened the news app, and was immediately glad he was still sober.

Mr. Pigeon was making a comeback. This was far from the first time he had returned; Adrien vaguely remembered a time-travelling Bunnyx telling him and Ladybug that they would fight him over 23 times, and they had been living up to that number since high school. Adrien's brain kicked into autopilot as he ran out of the room, sending Nino a text with one hand and reaching into his pocket for camembert with the other.

"Well, looks like the fun will have to wait!" said Plagg, as he popped out of his owner's shirt.

"You're telling me! I was looking forward to tonight." sighed Adrien, chucking him the camembert once they were out of sight. He checked the news on his phone one last time.

"Alright, looks like he's in the park." he said, as his kwami finished his meal. "Let's get this over with. Plagg, claws out!"

* * *

Meanwhile, Marinette was also alerted by her phone. As soon as she saw the familiar face of the akuma victim, she groaned. Not this guy again, she thought to herself. As she stood up to go and transform, she felt her sense of balance waver. This was worse than her usual clumsiness; she could tell the drink hadn't taken full effect yet, but she could still feel it.

"Girl, where are you going?" asked Alya, as Marinette got up and began walking off.

"Oh, umm...j-just getting - hic - some fresh air!"

"Alright, just be careful." said Alya, folding her arms.

Once outside, Marinette made sure there was nobody around, and released Tikki from her bag.

"Aiight, time to...ugh...transfurmmm." she slurred, as the Iced Tea began to go to her head.

"TikKi, ShPoTz oN!

Ohhh boy, thought Tikki as she was sucked into her miraculous. This was going to be a night to remember, and not in the good way.

* * *

Chat Noir had only been waiting for about a minute, when he heard his superhero partner swinging through the trees of the park.

"Ah, here comes m'lady!" he said, as the familiar red and black clad superheroine appeared over the top.

However, this was no ordinary Ladybug. Chat Noir instantly noticed something was up; her swings didn't look as smooth, and she didn't look as lively as always. _I wonder what's gotten into her_, he wondered to himself. _Maybe she's tired?_

He realised she was probably more than tired when she swung in on a lamppost, and faceplanted the ground next to him.

"M'lady! Are you alright?" he asked, as he helped her to her feet.

"I'm...fine, I'm fine." she spluttered, spitting out mud and grass. "Where is he?"

"Apparently Mr. Pidgeon was here a minute ago, but it looks like he might be on the other side by now. We'd better hurry if we want to catch him!"

"You got it Bugaboo!" said Ladybug, going in for a fistbump and accidently punching him in the shoulder.

Chat Noir paused. _Bugaboo?_

"I didn't know we were trading nicknames, kitten!" he teased.

"Oh wait, nunununu" spluttered Ladybug, waving her hand in front of her face. "I forgot, you call me bugaboo!" she laughed, her eyes wandering slightly as she did so.

Chat Noir raised an eyebrow. He had never seen Ladybug in this state before. A little tiredness at the end of a day could explain a few slip-ups, but this?

"Say, have you been out drinking by any chance, m'lady?"

"nyooo...ok, maybee a little"

"How much did you have?"

"Juuuuuusst one drink"

"Somehow I doubt that" muttered Chat, as he watched her wave goodbye at a passing butterfly. "Well, we better get going."

The two heroes took off, and eventually found Mr. Pidgeon on the other side of the park. He was just as ridiculous as they remembered, with his black, grey and pink outfit, surrounded by seemingly all of the pigeons in Paris.

"Look! He has the same bird caller as before!" he said, pointing to the whistle hanging from his neck. "That must be where the akuma is hiding!"

"Gooooood thinkin', Kit-Cat" she said, ruffling his hair. Chat Noir shook his head in amusement as they dived forwards to fight, with Ladybug veering off violently to the left and directly into a tree. This really was going to be a night to remember.

* * *

"Ladybug and Chat Noir are in the park!"

"What? Now? Why? Who are they fighting?" demanded Alya, making her way over to the bar's TV screen.

"Awesome!" yelled Nino, as they watched their favourite superheroes go at it. "Big night out, high school reunion and we get to watch Ladybug and Chat Noir live in action!"

"I wish I could be there for the Ladyblog! I should have brought my- hang on a second!" said Alya, noticing Ladybug's dazed expression as she untangled herself from her own yoyo. "Is Ladybug alright?"

"I think she might be drunk..." said Nino, as Ladybug got up, wobbling around the place.

Alya gave a hearty laugh. "Looks like even Ladybug is out having fun tonight! This should be interesting…"

* * *

Back at the park, Mr. Pidgeon's minions were proving difficult to deal with. "Time to - hic - bring in some luckity luck!" slurred Ladybug, swinging her yoyo around violently. Chat Noir gulped. This wasn't going to end well.

"Luckichurrrmmm" she burbled, throwing her yoyo forwards instead of upwards and whacking Chat Noir in the back of the head. "Sorry kitty"

Chat Noir, who was perched on a nearby tree, lost his balance as the yoyo struck his head, aimlessly throwing his baton at Mr. Pidgeon as he fell to the ground. To his surprise, his baton bulls-eyed Mr. Pigeon in the face, just as the lucky charm spouted out a simple bottle of water. Blinded momentarily by the baton, Mr. Pigeon attempted to blow his bird call, which was then swiftly knocked out of his hand by the flying water bottle.

"Cataclysm!" yelled Chat Noir, as he caught the bird caller. He grinned as the akuma came flying out of the dust. They had done it again.

"No more akuma-doing for you, little evil" blurted Ladybug, brandishing her yoyo over her head like an axe. Chat Noir did his best to hold in his laughter as Ladybug finally managed to catch the akuma, after a few drunken attempts of waving her yoyo in its general direction.

"Buh-bye little buttercup" came the tipsy catchphrase, as the akuma floated away. "Well Kitty, looks like our work here is - hic - done."

"Nice...work, my lady." said Chat Noir, narrowing his eyes in suspicion. "By the way, are you sure it was just one drink?"

"Yeeesh, why?"

"Because your lucky charm, as effective as it was, is also a bottle of water" he chuckled, handing it out for her. "You might wanna take a hint from it."

"Daaaah, it's just a coincidence," she said, giving Chat a 'playful' punch which he had to duck out of. "Aiight, now gimme dat so I can revert everything" she said as she snatched it off him.

"miRaCuLOuS LadYbuUug!" she yelled, throwing the water bottle directly into a nearby lamppost. As the familiar red aura returned everything back to normal, Chat Noir walked up to his lovable mess of a partner.

"I'll take care of Mr. Pigeon-I mean, Mr. Ramier." he said, gently placed his hand on her shoulder. "Can you make it back yourself?"

"Yeah, not a problem!" she responded, poking him in the cheek. "Can youuu though kitty kitty?"

"I'm pretty sure I'll be alright, thanks." he said, grinning cheekily. "Oh by the way my lady, I paw-sitively love you, as always!"

"Mmnnmm I love you tooo~" she burbled, flopping onto his shoulder. "But don't tell no-oneeeeee"

Chat Noir chuckled evilly. Even though he had completely taken advantage of her tipsiness, it was worth it just to hear her say it.

"Now go home Ladybug, you're drunk."

* * *

"Girl, where were you?" yelled Alya, as Marinette finally made her way back to the bar. "And why do you look so tired?"

"I...uh, got lost…"

Alya shook her head. "You totally missed Ladybug and Chat Noir defeating Mr. Pigeon!"

"Must've been fun" said Marinette groggily, her head dropping to the side at she sat back down.

"That L.I.I.T. must have been pretty beastly, huh." Nino muttered to Alya.

"Well, that and the fact that she chugged it on an empty stomach." she replied. "Not to mention she just doesn't drink in general."

As Alya continued to talk to Nino, Marinette signaled to the bartender.

"Yo, you got anymore of that ice teeeeeaa?" she said.

"Of course madam, coming right up." he replied, popping back to fetch another glass.

The drink soon came sliding down the counter. Marinette caught it, drunkenly murmured a thank you to the bartender, and started to glug away. Alya noticed after a couple of seconds, and immediately tried to take it off her.

"GIRL, NO! You've had enough for one...oh my goodness, really?" she groaned as she watched her friend finish her second drink of the night.

"Iz alright, I got thissss" said Marinette, her competitive Ladybug instincts kicking in. "I can handle a mere - hic - two, thank you very much."

"You realise how much 2 long island iced teas are, right?"

"Yeah, more than one and less than three! Ehwahah I'm a math genius"

"Oh for crying out loud…"

Across the room, Adrien had just returned to the bar. The atmosphere was considerably rowdier, with people knocking back their drinks and playing games. As he walked over and sat down at the counter, he noticed Marinette swaying from side to side ever so slightly. He took one look at the empty glass, and smiled to himself.

_Looks like my lady isn't the only one having fun tonight_, he thought as Marinette proceeded to munch on an ice cube.

Alya could only shake her head as Adrien slid a glass of water over to Marinette. "You might wanna take this Marinette" he said caringly. "You look pretty out of it."

"You don't know the half of it." said Alya. "This girl chugged a whole Long Island Iced Tea, went out and came back to chug another one! And without eating anything! I swear…"

Adrien cringed as he imagined it. Marinette never really drank, and at her tolerance on an empty stomach, she didn't seem built to take in two L.I.I.T.s in such a short time.

"Adrien, do you mind keeping an eye on her for a while?" asked Alya.

"Sure!"

"Thanks! Just make sure she doesn't do anything….um, Marinette-ish."

Adrien nodded as Alya stood up and walked over to the other side of the bar with Nino.

"You okay there Mari?" he asked, turning to her as she began to gulp down her water.

"mnn...I'm fine, I - hic - think." she said.

She certainly didn't look fine. Adrien felt quite sorry for her as he watched her head droop to the side. _What prompted her to drink so much?_ he thought wondered to himself. _Was it stress? Is she dealing with something at home? Whatever it is, I hope I can make it better…_

He leaned over to her, and gently placed his hand on her shoulder.

"Is...is there anything I can do for you?" he asked cautiously.

"Mnnggmnn...well, you could do one thing…" said Marinette, her inhibitions lowering very quickly.

Adrien's face lit up at the thought of being able to cheer her up. "What is it?"

"You could give me a kiiisssssss..." she mumbled. Adrien was confused, and a little shocked.

"Uh...um, me? Are you sure? I don't see how that'll help but I mean, if you-"

"Oh, it'll - hic - help, dontchaworryyy" said Marinette, rolling her head towards him. "Why don't you kiss me and make me all better?"

Adrien sighed. There was no point being creeped out, she was beyond tipsy. _She's probably not thinking straight_, he thought, _but I guess I'll humour her_. He leaned in, cupped her face and planted a gentle kiss on her cheek. He smiled sweetly as Marinette's face lit up.

"Better?" he asked.

"Muuuuuucchhhh better" she replied, her hand stroking his arm. Adrien shook his head and smiled to himself. _Okay, she's definitely out of it now,_ he thought.

"And now, my turn…"

"What?"

Before he could stop her, Marinette leaned in for a kiss, narrowly missing his lips and catching his neck instead as she slipped. Adrien managed to catch her, and helped her back onto her chair.

"You should really warn me before you do that." he chuckled.

"I...missed." she mumbled. "Shorry if I shocked ya."

"It's alright…"

"Are you sure about that?" came a voice from behind.

Adrien turned around to see that Alya had returned, with her arms folded and eyeing Marinette suspiciously. Adrien could only laugh sheepishly as he remembered what he had been asked to do.

"So, Alya" he said nervously. "You know how you said to make sure she didn't do anything weird?"

"Yeah…wait, oh my goodness." said Alya, facepalming. "What did she do?"

* * *

****The Next Morning****

"I did WHAT?"

"You flirted with him, you said 'kiss me and make me all better' to his actual face, and you tried to kiss him, missed, and got his neck instead." said Alya, struggling to hold in her laughter. "So it could have been worse!"

"This is a disaster!" yelled Marinette, wringing her hands. "He probably thinks I'm a weirdo now!"

"Girl, you are a weirdo!" laughed Alya. "And don't worry, he just thought you did it because you were drunk out of your mind. Which you were, but I'm guessing that's not why you wanted a kiss."

"Ohhhh my goodness, and he actually…?"

"Yep! In fact, Nino gave me photographic evidence!" said Alya, extremely proud of her boyfriend who had the foresight to snap it from across the room. She flashed the picture up on her phone, causing Marinette to turn scarlet.

"See girl? It wasn't all bad!" said Alya, nudging her best friend. "But if you don't wanna come across as creepy, please never do that again! Especially around Adrien."

"I won't Alya, don't worry." she said, her head in her hands. Tikki had already given her a full scolding, she didn't need to be told twice.

"I guess I should apologize…"

"You might want to, I guess." said Alya. "but Adrien seems cool about it! I'm sure he'll forgive you."

"I hope so." said Marinette as she hung her head. Secretly, however, a tiny part of her was glad that is had happened; it would be a story to tell, and Adrien Agreste had kissed her at the end of the night. I suppose it could have been a lot worse, she thought to herself. Little did she know of course that Chat Noir had recorded her drunken state.

Somewhere across the city, in his bedroom, Chat Noir was smiling away to himself as he completed his patrol. He replayed the recording on his staff one last time.

'I paw-sitively love you, as always!'

'Mmnnmm I love you too, but don't tell no-oneeeeee.'

_I won't, m'lady, _he thought to himself, grinning cheekily. _Only you. And you'll never hear the end of it._

* * *

**Thank you so much for reading! Sorry it's been a while, I've been sick for a good while but I've recovered now. I'm working on a few more at once now, so be sure to look out for those coming out. In the meantime, head over to my youtube channel for random Miraculous goodness! **

**My channel: Miraculous Memez**


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